Your Dog Isn’t Being Stubborn—They’re Trying to Tell You Something
Your dog barks at every delivery truck. (That’s what our toy Australian Shepherd does every day)
They pull toward another dog on a walk.
They refuse to come inside when called.
They chew something they should not, jump on a visitor, or appear to forget a behavior they have performed dozens of times before.
It is easy to look at moments like these and conclude that the dog is stubborn, disobedient, dominant, or simply “being bad.”
Jan from Beach Dogs Canine Behaviour Consultants, and our trainer-friend at Riverview Pet Lodge, encourages owners to begin somewhere different.
Before asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” she wants us to ask:
What is my dog trying to communicate?
Behavior Is Information
Dogs cannot explain what they are experiencing in words. They communicate through their bodies, movement, voices, choices, and behavior.
A barking dog may be:
Alarmed by something outside
Frustrated because they cannot reach what they see
Overstimulated by movement
Trying to create distance from something frightening
Expressing excitement they do not yet know how to regulate
A dog pulling on the leash may not be challenging your authority. They may be excited, anxious, curious, overwhelmed, or unaware of what you are asking them to do.
A dog who does not come when called may be distracted by something more rewarding in the environment. They may also have never learned that returning to their person is consistently safe, enjoyable, and worthwhile.
The behavior still matters. But understanding what is driving it changes how we respond.
Understanding Is Not the Same as Excusing
Trying to understand a dog does not mean allowing every behavior to continue.
There are behaviors that are disruptive, unsafe, or simply incompatible with life in a household. Dogs need guidance, expectations, and boundaries.
The difference is where we begin.
Instead of assuming the dog knows exactly what we want and is deliberately refusing, we first ask whether we have communicated clearly.
Does the dog understand the behavior we are requesting?
Have we practiced it in an environment with fewer distractions?
Is the dog too frightened, excited, or overwhelmed to learn in this moment?
Have we accidentally rewarded the unwanted behavior?
Are we asking for something the dog has never been prepared to do?
Those questions do not remove responsibility. They help us respond wisely.
The Difference Between Compliance and Communication
It is possible to stop some behaviors quickly through pressure, intimidation, or discomfort. Immediate compliance can look impressive.
But stopping a behavior is not always the same as resolving what caused it.
A frightened dog may become quiet without becoming calm.
A dog may stop pulling because they are afraid of what will happen if they reach the end of the leash.
A dog may stop barking while remaining anxious about the thing that caused the barking.
At Riverview, we want to look beneath the visible behavior. Our goal is not merely to make a dog appear controlled. We want to help dogs become more confident, better regulated, and more capable of making good choices.
That process can require patience. It also tends to produce something deeper than momentary compliance: trust.
Your Dog May Not Know What You Want
During a recent conversation with Jan, she completed this sentence:
“Your dog isn’t being stubborn. They’re…”
Her answer was simple:
“They don’t know what you want.”
There are exceptions. Jan openly laughs about moments when her own dog, Ollie, clearly understands her and chooses something else.
Dogs have preferences. They become distracted. They can test habits and discover what works.
But Jan’s experience has taught her that many apparent acts of defiance are actually failures of communication.
The person believes the instruction was clear.
The dog experiences confusion.
The person becomes frustrated.
The dog becomes stressed.
Both sides leave the interaction feeling misunderstood.
Good training interrupts that cycle.
Questions to Ask Before Correcting Your Dog
The next time your dog does something frustrating, pause long enough to ask:
What happened immediately before the behavior?
What might my dog be feeling?
Does my dog truly understand what I am asking?
Is the environment making the request too difficult?
What behavior would I like my dog to perform instead?
How can I make that better choice clear and rewarding?
These questions help turn frustration into curiosity.
Curiosity does not weaken leadership. It improves it.
Try to Understand Me Better
When Jan was asked what dogs might say if they could talk, her response was:
“Try to understand me better.”
That sentence captures much of her training philosophy.
Your dog does not need you to become permissive or abandon reasonable expectations. Your dog needs you to become a clearer observer, a more consistent communicator, and a trustworthy guide.
Every behavior has a context.
Every dog is learning.
And sometimes the first step toward changing what your dog does is changing how you see them.
If you would like to learn more or find out when our next training classes are being offered, please contact our office at 541.347.4689 for upcoming schedules. You can also visit Jan’s Beach Dog Behavior Consultants webpage to explore additional resources and training information.
